T.G. TUESDAYS: Is My Middle Name…Promiscuous?

Written by TG Pinheiro. Posted in Ask Jay Blessed, Celebrity Gossip, Feature Posts

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Published on March 05, 2013 with 4 Comments">4 Comments

I’m sorry but this is 2013, isn’t it?

promiscuous-couple-sex
Then tell me why after years of fighting for equal rights, equal pay and equal treatment are women still held to a different standard than their male counterparts when it comes to sex?

Tell me why you care so much with whom and how often another woman is getting some?

I received a query from a woman stating that she is single and currently involved with two men. She’s been with both men for a number of years but for various reasons, could not or would not commit to either. She understands that the situation may be deemed unique to those who don’t know the background story but it works for her. What upset her was that her best friend, who knows the details including how and why the two relationships began, considers her ‘promiscuous.’

In regards to the friend, though she may not agree with situation, her job as a “friend” is to support, not criticize especially when she knows the full details. More importantly, what goes on between two consenting adults or three for that matter, is nobody’s business but their own! I wonder if she were a he, if his friends would react the same way. Hell no! They’d be calling him “The Man!”

These double standards must stop.

who are you to judge me

Single women are out here holding it down; should they remain abstinent while waiting for their knights in shining armor? Oh please! As long as it’s not somebody else’s man, who cares?

Religious beliefs aside, why can’t a grown woman engage in a sexual relationship without the benefit of marriage or commitment or direction? I find that, though we have evolved in so many areas, we are still holding on to these archaic beliefs when it comes to sexuality. No wonder we have yet to break through the glass ceiling. Free your mind people because it’s just not that serious.

Please share your post-Carnival stories, comments, dilemmas, topics and even ask me your relationship questions by sending me an email to TG@jayblessed.com and we’ll figure it out together and I’ll even answer your questions right here in my “ASK TG” section. I look forward to hearing from you.

Don’t forget to check out my new dating memoir, The Ex Parade and please check out my Facebook page.

Until then, ponder this and check out my soundtrack: “The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says: ‘It’s a girl.’” ~Shirley Chisholm

 

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  • MC Girbaud

    Searching for Trinidad activities brought me to this website! Never knew of it, interesting reads! Had to reply to this one…

    Its archaic to believe that a man who sleeps around is “The Man” – no way! He is also promiscuous. Men who are “players” are not cool in any sense of the word, even if amongst other men they think so; its their own delusion, its how they manage to sleep at night knowing they take advantage of women for their own selfish reasons… the same way society likes to call women who sleep around promiscuous, the same goes for men. Why must we as women constantly deem what the man does as how it is? What applies to them doesn’t mean it should apply at all! Why not fight back? There is something very destructive about casual sex with no intent for intimacy or need to connect with someone on a truly spiritual, emotional, monogamous and positive level. Sex for sex sake is not good for the soul and no one, man or woman, will find a suitable mate when your energy is focused on booty calls and one night stands. Instead of women having to stoop down to a man’s level to “level the playing field” – challenge men and have them realize that it’s not okay to take advantage, even at the expense of your own sexual needs and desires. Don’t give up the cookie so easily because this is part of the reason why men continue to “dog” women, we’re too easy. We think our cookie is special and men will automatically fall in love with us once they’ve gotten a bite… it just doesn’t work. There’s immense power in resisting sexual temptation. Save that sexual energy for someone worth it who is worthy of you. And while two consenting adults or three or four or five, as the case may be “agree” to such no strings attached deals, realize that this behavior doesn’t help in spiritual growth, maturity or search for a suitable mate.

    • http://www.JAYBLESSED.com TG Pinheiro

      Thanks for checking out the site and replying MC Girbaud, I truly appreciate it.

      I certainly agree with many of your points however, like it or not, there is a double standard when it comes to sex…not saying its right.

      There may be times in one’s life when a committed relationship just isn’t right for them. Casual sex doesn’t necessarily mean one night stands and booty calls…there are all types of “relationships.” What’s important is that both parties are in agreement so there is no taking advantage of, on either side. What I wanted to highlight though, was not passing judgment on another who chooses this path.

      In a perfect world, we’d marry as virgins and stay monogamous until death do us part but this is the world we’re in and it aint pretty!

  • Milton

    Wow I never realise how much women hated each other until I read this article by T.G . Tuesdays Is my middle name is promiscuous ? Women are creating there own double standards. they want to act and behave like men . Men dont care how many women his boy sleep with . women does and will quickly stamp the P word on her BBF. promiscuousness in a male world is normal we are expected to do it even our own mothers tells to do it. Yet Its not accepted in a woman world, its seen as been a whorish . This is why men created the old boys club to protected each other . Women have been fighting for equal rights for everything under the sun from day one and rightfully so . But it’s about time women creat an old girls club to protected them self from each other .

    • http://www.JAYBLESSED.com TG Pinheiro

      Milton, it’s not about women behaving or acting like men; it’s about adults choosing to do adult things with an open mind. But I totally agree with the need for an Old Girls Club.

      Thanks for your reply.

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